well you wouldn’t HAVE to have a bath if you’d stop rolling around in the dirt under the fucking porch, king! i know you think you are a dog, but word to the wise: DOGS GET MORE BATHS THAN CATS. So keep it up and see where it gets you.
Baby, I am so in love with all of the best things in my life and you are my number one. Thanks for being my smelliest love.
but the Ayahuasca was for our vision quest vacation in mexico, King, not for random january day timez.
there are no deep mind interlords coming to steal your official 2013 calendar water world magic carpet space ship. king? KING? OVER HERE! don’t go altered states on me baby! BABY! snap out of it!
i am NOT making fun of your wittle wisp, baby. i think its super cute! Happy new Years to you, too! I WUV yOU!!!!!!!
king, sitting on the san andreas fault line might not keep it from sliding into the ocean, but i sure do appreciate the lengths you are willing to go to for snuggle time. maybe if you keep giving those plates the stink eye, they will stop trying to be so tectonic.
perhaps THIS could help you with your mission
oh fuuuck that. i call BULLSHIT on the “don’t disturb me while i’m cooking for you” shit.
you are in no WAY cooking for me, you are napping on the fuckign pilot light. do you think i was born fucking yesterday? ! SHOW ME THE RECIPE!
but fluffermuffington, it doesn’t MAKE you cooler, it IS a cooler.
and its for food, so like, GROSS! get the fuck out of there!
king, i am so fucking thankful for you! you are the best little fuzzy bun bun EVER!
even when you are pretending to be a meerkat, because being a regular cat is “too pedestrian”.
happy thanksgiving timez!
listen little spoon, everyone gets in a cat fight at least once in their life.
i know you don’t like to solve your problems with violence, but you can’t let other cats push you around. not all of them are like your boyfriend, pistachio. and when a new cat comes to the neighborhood and tries to melrose place everyone, well, you gotta put your paw down. but you can’t keep thinking about what you could have said or done differently. just shhhhh, relax. lets snuggle.