Holy fuck I love my cat. We just spent the last three days looking at each other, loving eachother. He helped me clean my fucking studio and we talked about some real shit, his sexual orientation and how sometimes love is just love.
aaaaaaaand WE’RE BACK

Baby! You’re a star! What song are you going to sing? I love you!

aww jeez, king. what did i tell you about starting in with the dick jokes when you’ve only been dating a couple of weeks? she’s an older woman and you are just showing her how juvenile you are. 

well yeah, i think they’re funny, but i’m the one that told them to you. i would just get to know her a little better first before she bitch slaps you again.

Baby! BABY! It’s still your fucking birthday week! You know what that means? You get to hang out outside for a whole nother day! That means long walks in the moonlight with your girlfriend and lots and LOTS of butterflies to torture. Seriously dude, you are living the fucking life. PARTY IT UP!

Oh my fucking god! HAPPY SECOND FUCKING BIRTHDAY KING! I love you SO MUCH I want to rip off my face and replace it with yours! You are SUCH a big boy now! I can’t……. It’s just………… You’re growing up so fast.

I see your girlfriend came over to visit. Are you going to share your cat grass with her, or is it too soon to barf in front of each other?

headless horseman, i know you are peeping that girl cat. its cool. i guess its time to let my baby go. just, you know. let me know if you are gonna be out past midnight. i mean, IM A COOL MOM, but you know, just let me know.

First of all, you KNOW how I feel about cat parkour all over the house before 6 am. You have the house to yourself ALL DAY. Maybe we need to sit down and talk about time management?

Secondly, no you CAN’T borrow my favorite tye dye hand painted Calvin and Hobbes muscle tee. Last time you borrowed one of my shirts you ate through the sleeve and barfed plaid for two days. and that “it doesn’t HAVE sleeves” argument isnt going to fucking work on me this time

no i DIDN’t say any vampires could come into my room last night. i havent invited vampires into our house for fucking ages. or zombies. it was an earthquake, not monsters under the bed shaking it to wake us up and then eat us. you should put that overly active imagination of yours into your dream journal. now go back to sleep you big pussy.

who does that little biz-H think she is, your fucking twinsie? king, my little bun bun, how are you supposed to get internet famous if you keep letting that dog steal all your photo ops. come on, guy! do i need to make you drink go go juice to stay pageant ready all the time?